This song was written in response to the pain that silenced me early 2025. Ironically it was too painful to sing, yet song-writing was the way I could process and confront the grief. My worship and communion with the Lord had to often be built in silence. It was too painful to cry, yet if anyone truly asked how I was, tears were always in the response, so I isolated to keep conversation and the subsequent tears as light as I could.
I clung to James 1:2-4, where he challenges his readers to consider their sufferings pure joy and let perseverance in pain produce steadfastness in them. This was my prayer everyday.
I can assure you, He made this pain unto something greater than me.
(the image below is the cozy music room where I spent most of my time)
Let steadfastness be produced
In this garden tilled with agony
A gardener's hand uproots
The lies that lie underneath
Let steadfastness be complete
Its full effect has joy resurrecting
Lead me back to mountain peaks
That shook because You are holy
I want to dance
But lying in bed is His stage today
To sing
But worship must be quiet today
Honestly speak
Without raising a wall to protect me
I can't breathe without unbearable pain
Make it unto something greater than me
Let steadfastness be uncovered
I'll count it joy because I've seen His face
I render all affections to my Lover
I don't deserve His grace anyway
Let steadfastness fasten me
I don't want to sway with the waves
I need grounding at His feet
Until I call nothing else King
I want to dance
But lying in bed is His stage today
To sing
But worship must be quiet today
Honestly speak
Without raising a wall to protect me
I can't breathe without unbearable pain
Make it unto something greater than me
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